26 weeks

Well, I'm back in the UK. I've been back for nearly 2 weeks now and it's been really nice having the house to ourselves! Our housemates moved out at the beginning of the month but since I was away I couldn't do anything that I wanted to.

So far since I've been back I've put in a new garden out front under the living room window, moved our bedroom stuff into the master bedroom that Amanda was occupying, started setting up the spare room for guests, and we've ordered a new sofa for the livingroom.

The house is slowly coming together. We've picked out the furniture that we're going to get for the baby's room but we haven't bought it yet. Unfortunately we've kind of made that room the 'dumping ground' for everything we're not sure what to do with at the moment. It needs a bit of organising. Also we still have several things that belong to either Chris or Amanda, but neither of them seem to want to claim any of it so I guess it'll end up in the garbage shortly.

We're going to paint the baby's room yellow, and have antique wood furniture. I hope it looks nice. I was going to get a white nursery set initially but since we're kind of on a tight budget, and we already have some cupboards that we're going to use in the room, we decided to stick with that set which is the antique wood. I'm not really sure what to do for accessories though... maybe get some canvas pictures for the wall? I don't know if I want to do any kind of theme like Winnie the Pooh or something like that.

Anyway, I'm 26 weeks along today, and apparently that means there's only 98 days to go! I still can't get over how quickly the whole thing has been going by. I'm a little nervous about the last trimester, especially because everyone says the second trimester is the best so I'm sad that it's coming to an end. However, I am excited about how close the birthday is getting :)

I've been getting heartburn more and more, but thankfully it doesn't seem to last very long. The baby has developed a kicking pattern as well. She'll kick and kick like crazy for about 3 days, and then she'll quiet down and hardly kick at all for another 3 days, then it repeats all over again. I think when she's calm she's going through a growth spurt or something.

I've turned into an eating machine as well. I just want to eat all the time! Right now I'm on a bit of a cake kick. If I even hear the word 'birthday' I immediately think 'cake' and then I think about it for ages until I finally get some, or go to bed. It's frustrating when suddenly you want something and then you can't stop thinking about it for the rest of the day.. maybe even longer! I saw a Mars bar wrapper on the ground during our walk one morning and that occupied my thoughts for a good few hours. Thankfully the craving went away by the time we were near a shop.

I also get really tired after I eat, and I've started having unintentional cat naps during the day, usually just after lunch. It's kind of nice :) Plus I know I should enjoy sleeping while I still can...

Maybe she'll be a kickboxer?

So I got some good news yesterday... My visa was approved and my passport is on it's way back to me! :) Unfortunately my flight was for tonight and I've had to reschedule it because of not having my passport back yet, but at least I now have a definite return date and it's not 12 weeks away!

I changed my flight to next Sunday because it was the only flight they had available for the price that I paid. Unfortunately it means that I land Monday around lunchtime, and that's right while Graham is in the middle of his first day of training for the new plane. It would have been really nice if he could have met me at the airport but it doesn't look like that's going to be possible. At least I'll be at home waiting for him when he gets back though. :)

Anyway, I've been feeling a lot better since the last time I wrote in here. I haven't had any sudden crying spells since that day which has been nice. The baby is kicking and kicking and kicking. She hardly stops! I'm starting to wonder if she ever sleeps anymore. Maybe she kicks while she's sleeping?? Might have a future sleepwalker on my hands...

I've been seriously struggling over possible names and I can't seem to settle on anything. I haven't really run any of them by Graham yet, mostly because he doesn't seem too interested. I think he thinks we'll just pick a name when she's born. Me on the other hand, I'd like to think about it for a little while to see how much I actually like it so we're not stuck with something we end up not liking after a few days.

I think I'm going to stop talking to people about it though because every time I tell anyone they always have something negative to say. Then they try to get me to like the names they've picked out... it's just a lose-lose situation. Better not to say anything at all until she's born! Then they can't say anything :)

Pre-Baby Blues

So I guess I had my first bout of pregnancy depression yesterday and today. I didn't expect it to last so long though! I thought that you just see something sad, cry for 5 minutes and then you find some chocolate and forget all about it. Unfortunately that wasn't at all how it was for me. I guess the stress of the last few weeks finally hit me yesterday and I started crying because I missed Graham, and it just wouldn't stop. Everything I thought of made me upset and I would start crying uncontrollably. Even just thinking of my bathtub in England made me cry. I mean, I knew I missed the hot water and bubble baths but I didn't think I would ever cry over it!

I went out with my sister for a couple of hours yesterday evening to try and take my mind off of it all but I guess it didn't help very much because I was still very depressed this morning when I woke up. I stayed depressed until well after lunch and eventually it faded away thankfully. It's such a horrible feeling and there's pretty much nothing you can do about it except blame the baby when you burst into tears in front of your family for no reason.

I did however see something that made me laugh in the middle of my sadness and it was great. My mom found a video clip of a sleepwalking dog on the internet and it's impossible not to laugh at this. I think the next time I need some cheering up I'll definitely watch this because I honestly think it's one of the funniest videos I've ever seen. Here is the link for it if you want to check it out - and I really think you should!

Sleep Walking Dog

Anyway, I'm feeling better this evening. I finally made myself get out of my pyjamas and put some make-up on, then Mom and I went to the mall for an hour and after that Grandma R came over with some Harvey's hamburgers for us all. It turned into a much nicer day, even though there's still no news on my visa.

Yesterday I was overwhelmed with everything and thinking about my plane ticket for Tuesday and what I was going to do about it was making me even more stressed out, so I phoned AirCanada today and spoke to someone about my options.

I thought that I was going to be able to cancel my ticket and they would refund me a percentage of the fare which I'd then be able to put towards a new ticket when I was finally able to fly back to England. Unfortunately the woman I spoke to informed me that my ticket was non-refundable and if I cancelled it, I lost it so I was better off holding on to it in case by some miracle my passport showed up before the flight.

She told me that I could change my flight for a fee of $150, plus the difference in price between my current ticket and whichever new one I choose - if there is any difference. I should be able to change it as late as Tuesday, which is great.

Anyway, I've had enough of that stress. I'm going to watch some more silly videos online :)

Visa Complications

Well, I'm still in Canada right now and a little bit stressed. We found out earlier this week that I wasn't going to be able to return to the UK unless I applied for a new visa from within Canada. Graham was told this on Monday, so we spent all of Monday and Tuesday gathering as much information as we could in order to be able to apply for this new visa.

On Wednesday I had an appointment in Toronto with WorldBridge to have my biometrics done and to hand in my application and documents. They sent my papers to Ottawa and I was sent an email Thursday morning from them letting me know they had received my stuff. Now I have to wait until they let me know what they've decided before I can go back to England. Also they have my passport so I can't really go anywhere anyway. It's frustrating because I have a ticket booked to go back on Tuesday and it's becoming pretty clear that I won't be getting on that flight.

To make matters worse, I just found out I can't change that flight to another one either. I have to cancel it and if I'm lucky, get a partial refund. Then I'll have to book another flight but I can't even do that because I have no idea when I'll be allowed to go back. They say it can take up to 50 days :( I'm mostly upset because I have doctors appointments set up and I can't see a doctor over here because I'm not covered under OHIP anymore. I'm also sad because I miss Graham a lot and I hate being away from him, especially when there's no return date in sight :(

I'm really depressed about all of this right now. I just want it to be sorted out soon so I can go back and be with Graham.